She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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