ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
