He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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