FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
