Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
