Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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