Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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