Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
