people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
