dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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