8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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