she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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