you mean i was at the winter classic?
Come see our sink grown plant.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
