sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
being pregnant is like rehab
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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