the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
