It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Its about making memories worth repressing
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
