New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
