Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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