i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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