Where is the hickey?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
