Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
