The maid of honor just puked.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
