And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
