I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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