this just has baby written all over it
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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