So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
