I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
