is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Will exercising make me less horny?
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