I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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