Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize