if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
