i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
