do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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