Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
