I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize