Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
