strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
