ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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