thus making me awesome and them whores
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
