All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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