this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
