literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
