Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
