are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
