first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
