How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
