i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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