Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
