This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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