May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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