Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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