wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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