I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
