Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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