Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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