Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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