is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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