his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
