so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
