what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
