It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
