Umm I'm too high to move.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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