Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
