I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
