Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
